The Kapio Newspress

Issue date: 3/1/10 Section: Opinion

Media Credit: Animal Planet

Planning on getting a pet? Keep in mind, while some people are all about the cats, some want to throw them off a bridge. Others think dogs are a man's best friend and there are a few who hate the messiness of a wet dog on their newly cleaned wood floors.
Let's just face it, cat fans and dog lovers can argue all night on which is the better pet, but wouldn't be great if we could have those wild animals that Steve Irwin used to chase after?
Here are the Top 10 picks for craziest pets we wish we could have.

10. Goat
Yep, an everyday farm animal, but they produce some great milk. Goats can become especially useful on the weekends when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch the Olympics at a time when you should be mowing your lawn instead.

9. Dolphin
If you think surfing makes you look cool, just wait until you see the faces of the surfers as you pass them riding a dolphin. Do you keep forgetting to feed your pet goldfish? Don't worry, this porpoise can find its own food.

8. A city rat
It sounds weird, but if trained correctly, they can dig through those briefcases of money you see in the movies to retrieve boatloads of cash.

7. Atlantic salmon
It may not be easy to carry around, but if you slap someone with it - especially across the face - you will become a legend, guaranteed.

6. Skunk
They look a lot like a cat, but these creatures can work marvelous wonders during the times your girlfriend starts to become too clingy. Just make sure you don't get in the middle of the crossfire. If that happens, tomato juice is the most popular remedy in removing that foul odor.

5. Zebra
If you show up on the first day to school riding on a Zebra, you will definitely be super cool. Parking will no longer be an issue because your parking spot will be guaranteed wherever you go.

4. Orangatang
This type of ape can become a great bodyguard if you find yourself in a fight deciding to have one too many drinks at the bar. Their droopy faces can be very intimidating. Not to mention, they also look good in Ecko clothing.

3. Elephant
Sure, you can ride on their backs and do pull-ups using their trunks. But most importantly, you can dry your clothes on their trunks.

2. Walrus
They are massive, with blubbery skin that wobbles all over the place. Sounds like the perfect place to lie after a hard day at school.

1. A giant octopus
They are huge, and scary on the outside, but are squishy enough to sleep on. A giant octopus can make the perfect home security alarm. If they unfortunately do pass away, you'll know what's for dinner.


Next week's Top 10 will be the Top 10 cartoon shows from the 1990s.

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